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Holiday Tips for Divorced Parents

1. Let your children know their visitation schedule well ahead of time. For example, if they’re going to be leaving for their other parent’s house on Thanksgiving afternoon, tell them so that they can be emotionally prepared for the move.
   

2. Don’t be afraid to start new traditions if the old ones either conflict with your children seeing both parents or are too cumbersome for a single spouse to carry out.
   

3. Both parents should work to simplify their respective family obligations. Children who are overscheduled can feel pulled in different directions, increasing the stress on both the children and the parents.
   

4. Accommodate your former spouse’s visitation more than usual. Help your child shop for your ex, and encourage them to be excited about seeing their other parent. Don’t let your child know that you’re feeling down or anxious about being alone.
   

5. Don’t compete with your former spouse on gifts. Not only could it leave you indebted after the holidays, but it also overindulges your child and establishes a negative precedent.
   

6. More than any other time of the year, put your children’s feelings before your own.
   

7. Be flexible with your plans, and be prepared for a certain amount of letdown. Holiday blues are inevitable, even for those not going through a divorce. If necessary, lean on family and friends, but not your children, for help.

Regardless of their family situation, children still love the holidays. They are excited about everything from deciding what they’re going to be on Halloween to opening presents at Christmas or Hanukkah. All these things are magical for kids. Divorced parents shouldn’t detract from that magic simply because they aren’t living together anymore. 

I wish you and yours all the best during this holiday season and beyond.

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